Lord, I Lift My Husband or Wife to You

Maybe you want to pray for your husband or wife before the day pulls the two of you in different directions. This morning we'll lift them up to God, and ask Him to grow love in both of you. Let's bring this to God together.

In Philippians chapter one, verses nine to eleven, Paul tells his friends in Philippi what he prays for them.

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Philippians 1:9-11

Paul wrote this from prison, to a church he loved. He prays for them, and what he asks God for is love, more and more of it.

It's a particular kind of love, too. It grows in knowledge and depth of insight, which means it pays attention. It notices what the other person is carrying.

Many of us pass our husband or wife in the hallway with a mug in one hand and the day's list in the other. We say "morning," and then the day pulls us apart. Maybe one of you leaves before the other is up. Maybe something sharp was said last night, and neither of you has said sorry yet.

Look at where the fruit comes from. Paul calls it the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ. So you don't have to produce it by breakfast. Jesus gave His life for you and rose again, and the fruit Paul prays for comes through Him.

Paul described that love in his first letter to the church in Corinth, where people were struggling to love one another.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Hear that as a picture of the love Christ has shown us, one we grow into slowly, by His grace. Nobody's handing you a grade.

In his letter to the Colossians, Paul says how that love gets practical.

Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.

Colossians 3:13-14

We forgive because we've been forgiven. Forgiving someone doesn't mean pretending you weren't hurt. And if you're afraid at home, love doesn't ask you to stay quiet about it. Please tell someone you trust, like a pastor or a close friend.

The writer of Ecclesiastes was speaking about companionship in general, and he says this.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

A husband or wife can be that companion, the one who helps you up. If you're separated from your husband or wife this morning, or you've lost them, you're welcome here too. Bring Him the love and the ache, and let Him hold both.

God's welcome doesn't depend on how your marriage looks this morning, or on how well you pray.

Let's pray. You can pray these words with me, out loud or in your heart. If you're on your own this morning, change the words to fit.

Father, I come to You through Jesus. He died for my sins and rose again, and because of Him I'm welcome here before I've said one thing right. By Your Spirit, help me pray.

You loved me first, while I was still far from You. Everything good I know about love, I've learned from You. You're patient with me every single morning, and because of Jesus, You don't hold my sins against me. All the glory and praise belong to You.

So this morning I lift my husband or wife to You. You know them better than I do. You know what they're carrying today, the things they've told me and the things they haven't. Before the day pulls us apart, I want to put them in Your hands first.

You already know what I'm like at home. I give my best patience to strangers, and the person closest to me gets whatever's left. I hear their tone before I hear them. I'm quick to remember what they did, and slow to remember what they've given. Your word shows me what love looks like. “Love is patient, love is kind.” Too often I'm neither. Forgive me, Father. And thank You that You don't wait for me to get this right before You love me.

Now I ask for them. Paul prayed for his friends, and I borrow his prayer for my spouse and for me. Let our love “abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight”. Open my eyes to who they really are today. When they go quiet, help me see whether they're tired or carrying something heavy, before I decide they're being cold. Show me what they need from me, even if it's only a little room. Give them Your strength for their work and Your peace for what weighs on them.

I ask that we'd be “filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ”. I can't grow that by trying harder. It comes through Him, and I'm asking You for it.

Your word says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” You know what I'm still holding against them, the sharp word from last night and the old hurt I keep going back to. I lay those down now. Give me grace to forgive what's mine to forgive. And where I've hurt them, make me quick to say sorry.

I can't change my spouse, and You haven't asked me to. Their heart is Yours. I trust You with their faith, their health, and the fears they carry. I trust You with our marriage too, whatever shape it's in this morning. If it's strong, thank You. If it's strained, meet us in it. And if I'm praying this alone, stay close to me, Father.

I pray for other husbands and wives today. For those who woke up in the same house and feel far apart. For those caring for a sick spouse, and those grieving one. For anyone who's afraid in their own home, give them safety, and people who'll stand with them.

Now be with us in the day ahead. When we pass in the hallway, let me look up and say a real good morning. When one of us says something sharp, slow my answer. If there's a spare minute at lunch, put a kind word in my mind to send. And tonight, when we're both home and worn out, give us room to listen to each other. Thank You that You're with us both all day, even when we're in different places.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Take a moment of quiet now, and bring Him whatever's in front of you today.

Hear this blessing from First Thessalonians chapter three, over you and the one you love today.

And may the Lord cause you to increase and overflow with love for one another and for everyone else, just as our love for you overflows, so that He may establish your hearts in blamelessness and holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints. Amen.

1 Thessalonians 3:12-13