When You Woke Up Replaying What They Said

Good morning. This is Morning Prayer from Bearing Fruit.

Lord Jesus, some of us woke up already going over what someone said or did. The hurt is real, and so is the anger. You forgave us, and it cost You everything. This morning we're asking You to teach us to forgive, through Paul's words to the Ephesians.

In Ephesians chapter four, verses thirty-one and thirty-two, Paul writes this.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Paul is writing to a church about how God's people live together. A few verses earlier, he says this.

“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27

So Paul doesn't pretend anger never belongs. Some things ought to make us angry. What he warns about is anger that stays. Bitterness is anger that's been fed overnight, and then the night after that, until it moves in. Still hurting isn't the same thing.

Many of us know how that feels first thing in the morning. One of you has a message from a sister, sent late last night, and you've read it six times since. Someone else has a manager who took the credit in front of everyone. Or it's older than that. A parent's words from thirty years ago still come back whenever you're tired.

Then Paul tells us how to forgive. Just as in Christ God forgave you. That's the measure, and it's the reason. Before any of us forgives anyone, we're the forgiven ones. Jesus died for our sins and rose again, and everything we owed God was paid there.

It helps to be clear about what forgiving means. It doesn't mean saying it didn't matter. It doesn't mean trusting someone who's still unsafe, or walking back into harm. Forgiving hands the debt to God, and lets Him be the judge. Paul wrote to the church in Rome,

Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”

Romans 12:19

You can let go of the case because Someone else is holding it, and He judges rightly. That doesn't mean staying unsafe, or keeping quiet about real wrong.

That's what Jesus did. Peter watched Him suffer, and later he wrote this.

When they heaped abuse on Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats, but entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

1 Peter 2:23

Jesus didn't call the abuse good. He handed it over to His Father.

Forgiving is often slower than we'd like. You may forgive this morning and find the hurt back by lunchtime, with a fresh line of argument. When Peter asked how many times he had to forgive, Jesus told him seventy-seven times. So if it's back at noon and you hand it over again, you haven't failed. That's how it goes for most of us.

And you don't have to feel forgiving before you start. You can begin with a decision, made in prayer, and let God work on your feelings over time. He's patient with us. He forgave us long before we understood what it cost Him.

Let's pray. You can pray these words with me, out loud or in your heart.

Father, I come to You through Jesus. When they nailed Him to the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” He died for my sins there, and You raised Him on the third day. Everything I owed You, He paid. So I start this morning as someone forgiven.

You're the judge of all the earth, and You judge justly. You saw what happened. You saw it before I told anyone. None of it's hidden from You, and none of it's forgotten. You've been patient with me more times than I can count, and You've never once thrown my old sins back at me.

You know who's been on my mind since I woke up. You know what they did, and how much it hurt. I've gone over it again and again. I've had whole arguments with them in my head, and I've won every one. I've told the story to other people in a way that makes me look better. Part of me wants them to hurt the way I've hurt. That's bitterness, Father, and it's been growing in me. Forgive me. And forgive me for the times I've done to others what was done to me.

Your word says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice.” I can't pull it out by myself. By Your Spirit, take it out at the root. Where I need to speak to them, give me words that are honest and kind. Where I need distance to stay safe, give me wisdom, and keep bitterness out of that distance too. Where some of this was my fault, show me my part, and help me own it. Where I've made the story bigger than it was, even to myself, give me the truth. Help me see them as someone You made, and not only as the one who hurt me.

So I'm handing this to You. I'm putting it in the hands of the One who judges justly, the way Jesus did. You'll do what's right with it, and I don't have to carry the case around any more. Right now, before You, I choose to forgive them, as You forgave me. I may need to say this again by lunchtime. If I do, help me say it again then.

I pray for the person who hurt me. Bless them, Father. I don't know everything they're carrying. Do them good today. And I pray for others waking up with an old hurt playing in their heads. For someone betrayed by a friend they trusted. For someone still waiting for an apology that may never come. Heal what's been broken in them, and give them Your peace.

Father, I woke up already replaying what they said. I don't want it running my day. When it starts up again in my head, turn my thoughts to You. If I see them today, help me be kind without pretending. Keep me from telling the story again just to get people on my side. Give me patience with the people around me, who had nothing to do with it. And tonight, before the sun goes down, let me hand it to You again. I want to be the kind of person Your word describes. “Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.”

In Jesus' name, amen.

Take a moment of quiet now, and bring Him whatever's in front of you today.

Hear this blessing from Paul's letter to the Romans.

Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you harmony with one another in Christ Jesus, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 15:5-6